Friendshipness.

 "A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. -  Leo Buscaglia "

So true about what it says, because I'm not the type of person who fancy to be loads of friends at a time. It's hard for me to start a conversation to someone I barely known. So to be true, I don't have much friends but when I close to a friend, I appreciate him/her (mostly him) more than if I had thousand friends. So how much does friendship values to me? For sure, more than anyone could appreciates their friends. Why do I so into friendship-ness? It's all started when i moved out from my mom's house. I was 17 back then. Young and hopeless, I was looking for a place to stay. I ended up staying at my friend's house, where friendship spirit started to fill inside of me. I met a couple of new friends which I consider to be my new 'family', because deep inside of me, I need a family even though I keep on saying that i don't need a family to continue my life. Well, I was young and in denial stage of life.

I was so happy with my new 'family' until I forgot that peoples do change in the future. People and friendship do have positive relationship which means when people change, friendship change. Some of them change because they want to be new (which the older version is way much nicer), some of them change because of their life partner (which recently I've received an SMS that wrote, "Zz.jgn annoying pls." just because I asked him what did he do that time and apparently, I disturbed his date with his new girlfriend), some of them change just because they love to change. After a quite some great times I had, I have to move out from the house just because the external problems interfered in our relationship. Slowly, the distance eats up our relationship until we all act like strangers again.

So there I was, looking for a new 'family' which I hope to be equivalent or much better than the previous. Getting close with new friends, treat them like I treat my previous friends and end up getting a stab on my back. No wonder they always pat my back, they were searching for a soft spot to stab. What an ass-licker. So I grew up, taking new perspectives in friendship and live which I learned that there is no one closer to you than yourself. I lived my life the way I want, ignoring others thoughts about me. Taking advices from me and myself only until at one point, I feel lonely. In my thought, I need friends, even my body has its own friend; the shadow, the reflection on a mirror. Once again, I searched for new friends, just this time, I don't put too much hopes on it. Just a couple of friends that will listen to my problems is good enough.

After a several years, here I am, having 2 great friends who have been a wonderful friends, my active-seeing friend; Izham and my active-chatting friend; Faizal aka Bagak. Even though all people do change, this time, there's no changes could've change the relationship.